My Journey through HysterLand

A place to journal my experience of a hysterectomy and the journey to the next season on my life.

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Name:
Location: Germany

I am an Army wife and mother of 2 teenagers.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Sick

I am so sick. I was hoping against hope that I wouldn't get hubby's chest cold but I did. I have asthma so any type of cold or cough gets very nasty very quickly. I went to the family practice clinic yesterday and got some drugs even though it's a virus. I always get an antibiotic as a precaution. I went back to work and took the first pill right before I walked over to have lunch. I only got through about half my plate and started feeling bad. I just sat there sipping my coke while the others finished. We got up to leave and got just a few feet and I could feel I was going to be sick. I turned to walk back into the building and just barely made to the restroom. I think it was just the antibiotic but I got sent home anyway. The guys I was with thought it was funny that I ran back in the building instead of just walking around the corner. One of them said, she's too much of a lady to do that. I have lost my voice completely. I stayed home today but I'll try going in to work tomorrow. I've lost precious time I didn't have. I had my hubby call the dr to see if we need to reschedule the surgery. He said that if I'm not better by Mon to call back. The cough is just killing me. I just don't want to have the cough to deal with when I'm trying to heal from surgery. It's all starting to pile up and I feel like I'm losing control. Oh well. If I don't get the house all clean, hubby will just have to deal with it.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Monday

We went for a short trip down to Garmisch over the holiday weekend. It was a nice get-a-way. Of course I started my period; on my way to Neuschwanstein castle as a matter of fact. That was a bummer. You can see all the pictures and read about my trip on my other blog.

My hubby was sick all weekend so now I'm super paranoid about catching it. He's had a bad chest cold with coughing and sore throat and fever. DS is coming down with it. I'm loading up on Vit. C. Don't know if it will help but it makes me feel like I'm doing something.
I'm just playing the waiting game now.

I do not have my replacement at work yet, I'll be lucky if I have her by the end of the week. I may end up working all weekend to train her. That will be some comp time hours earned but I really wanted to do some housecleaning then too.

I talked to the patient liason on Wed. She told me that I will need to bring my own gowns and towels. There will be a shower to use but I have to supply all my own things. She said that I could eat the meals provided or it was fine to have food brought in. She had a hysterectomy a few years ago with the same doctor and at the same hospital. She was very pleased with both. There is no TV (not that I'd be able to understand it anyway) so I might have hubby bring my laptop in so that I can watch DVD's if I feel up to it. My iPod had to be sent back to the states for replacement. I hope that I get the new one soon. I've ordered 2 new nightshirts and a robe with a zip. The robe I have is a pullover so I didn't want to have to mess with that. I hope they get here on time.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Date

I went to the Dr. today and we set a date. I'll be admitted on the 22nd of Nov and the surgery will be on the 23rd. He said he plans on doing a vaginal hysterectomy unless he finds that the uterus is too enlarged. It's borderline. He thinks it is possible but wants me to be aware that I could also wake up with an incision across my abdomen. I have to go to the GP on the morning of the 22nd for an EKG and blood/lab work and then be at the hospital at 3pm to check-in. He said to expect a hospital stay of 6 days with 4 weeks off work. I was hoping for 6 weeks. 4 weeks takes me to the week before Christmas so I think I'll be off those days anyway. This means I'll be in the hospital over Thanksgiving. We'll just have to do a turkey with all the trimmings for Christmas.
I hope when I go to work tomorrow that I have good news about my replacement for my old job. We want her to start Mon but she's feeling guilty about not giving much notice where she works now. It's a friend of a co-worker. I told him to talk to her tonight and that he was free to tell her about my upcoming surgery and that's why we need her ASAP so that I have a few days to train her.
Hubby is relieved. I was afraid that they wouldn't be able to get it all scheduled this quickly and he really wanted to be here for me.
I'll have to call the patient liason and see if there are any particulars I need to know about being in the German hospital, see what things I need to be sure that I have with me. Things are quite different from American hospitals.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Asthma

I'm nervous about my allergies and asthma after surgery. I cough alot with my asthma and I don't want to hurt my tummy. I have to remember to talk to the Dr about it on Tues.; do I need to bring my own medicines and such. I'm working on a shawl to take with me. I don't know how warm or cool they keep it at the German hospital. I do remember it being quite warm when I had Cody but that was in Sept. A shawl will be easier to wrap up in than a robe. I just have so much running through my mind. I will hopefully have a new person at work a week from Mon. I won't have much time to get things ready for her or to get her trained. Just the basics. The rest will have to wait.

Long day

Damn, I tried to log into Blogger to post but it’s down for maintenance.

It’s been a long day. Hubby asked a couple of days ago if I wanted to go to the flea market on Sat. I wasn’t too keen on the idea because I knew we’d have to get up early and I’ve been really tired and was looking forward to sleeping in. He’s been whining about how he never gets to go anywhere or see anything so I gave in. I had to get up before 5am and leave the house by 5:15. I don’t even do that on work days. I told hubby last night I didn’t really feel well and I was feeling like PMS was coming on. I was feeling quite bitchy. Of course he seemed to have his selective hearing ears on and didn’t pay attention.
I asked for details but he had none other than we had to be there at 5:30. I am the type of person that likes to have things planned out ahead of time and know what to expect. I can be flexible but I don’t do well not knowing anything. The 2 couples we went with had all these places that they wanted to go. If I had known before we left, I would have suggested we drive our car instead of riding with one of the couples (squashed in the back seat of a Golf). They wanted to be there at 7am when it opens. Since I didn’t have a lot of money and really wasn’t looking for anything, I just wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a hour plus drive. I did get a couple of things but I also started having the leg pain again and just general blahs and the bad attitude of not wanting to be there. Yes I admit I was having an attitude. Well, we finally finished up there and drove over by Ramstein to the Polish Pottery shop. Hubby owed me a new butter dish since he caused my other one to get broken last week. I bought a few things for Christmas gifts. By now it’s after 1 and I’m starving so we go over to the BX at Kaiserslautern and it’s packed and had to find a parking spot. I thought by now we’d be going home after this but no – there’s a stupid Christmas Bazaar we have to go to. I’ve already been to one Bazaar last month and if you’ve been to one, you’ve pretty much seen all the same vendors. Note to self ~~ drive own car! When we were almost back to house where our car was parked hubby tells me he’s agreed to help disassemble a huge schrank (entertainment center on steroids). I very nicely commented that that means getting to work, not drinking a beer in the meantime and going home. I was so pooped by then. It was 5pm. He got mad and said fine I could drive home and the other couple would bring him home. I just glared at him. We got our few purchases put into our car and the guy he was going to help said he wasn’t going to mess with taking the schrank apart. The guy buying it was bringing several helpers and really, he should see how it comes apart so he’d know how to put it back together.
We finally got home and I had to fix dinner for 2 hungry teenage boys (DS has a friend staying over). I made a meatloaf with some mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans. Except for the green beans, it was a hit with the boys.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Blogging

I decided to dedicate a blog to my journey through HysterLand. I might as well share what I’m writing. It is therapeutic for me to write and if it helps someone else along their journey then I’m happy to be of help but its purpose is an outlet for me.

I was going to make my first post but Blogger doesn’t want to open. They must be doing an update to the site - that’s one thing that really sucks about being in Europe. The nightly updates in the States happen during the day for us. I’ll just write in Word and then paste to the blog later. Some of this was written previously so I will date it accordingly.

Dr appointment: hubby and I went in and waited for the Dr, who was running behind as usual. He asked what I was there for and I told him I wanted to discuss the results of the ultrasound. He pulled up my file on the computer and then looked over the notes from the German Dr. He drew out the size of the fibroid and said it’s about the size and shape of an egg. Then he looked at the second paper where the words “hysterectomy indicated” were written. He then slowly turned around in his chair to face us and asked what did we want to do. He and my hubby talked and they both are for sooner rather than later. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. We are in a bit of a unique situation, what with hubby going off to Iraq again soon. He acted like I could schedule it for as soon as next week. YIKES! That’s a little too soon for me. Anyway, we have a little trip planned for next weekend. I never got to go to Garmisch and Neuschwanstein castle last time we lived here and Dammit! I’m going to go this time. Besides, I can’t leave work that quickly. I’m still waiting for my replacement to my administrative job since I got promoted to the Management Analyst. I’m doing 2 jobs still. The Dr put in the referral for the GYN so we headed over to Tricare to schedule the appointment. Back to the German Dr on Tues to discuss and schedule the procedure. I’ll be a bundle of nerves til then, I’m afraid. Oh, I just thought of another thing the Dr said ~ he said I should be able to have a vaginal hysterectomy and I should be up and about in a week and a half. Yeah right. I'll believe that when I see it.

I've got so much running through my mind. If I start rambling, please forgive me. I don't have enough leave to be off for more than 2 weeks. Another thing that sucks about being in Europe is that there are no short-term disability here. I might be able to enroll in a program where other people can donate leave time to me. I've had a couple of guys at work already offer.

I'm trying not to get ahead of myself but random things just keep popping in my head. I'm going to start a list in the sidebar of things that come to mind that may or may not be part of this. If I keep track I can see if they improve later. I'm wondering if I'll need some new PJ's/nightshirts. I might start a list of things I might need.

I'm feeling crampy today/more as the night goes on and I have pain in my left hip that shoots down my leg. I'm gonna go take a motrin and see if that helps before bed. By my calculations, I start right before or while we are on vacation next week. It would be nice if it would wait until we get back.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Dr today

I’m waiting (a bit anxiously) to go to the Dr. I’ll leave in about an hour.

Last night, I was just exhausted again. I stopped and picked up pizza for dinner. I tried watching TV but couldn’t keep my eyes open. I had a headache that started before I left work. I took a Motrin after I ate. It didn’t seem to help much. Hubby was falling asleep in his chair so we just decided to go to bed. We were in bed before 8pm. DS came in and said ”It’s only 7:50”. He couldn’t believe we were going to bed so early although he just bugs the crap out of me if I fall asleep in my chair. I didn’t sleep very well. I couldn’t seem to get comfortable. I woke up about 2 and took more Motrin.

I’ve noticed my sleep patterns have changed over the last few months. Any amount of light really bothers me and if I can hear noise (TV or radio) I can’t sleep. It doesn’t make sense; I don’t have any problem dozing in my recliner with the TV and lights on in the living room. I get hot easier too. Not hot flashes but just warm. I still have to have covers on me but I don’t like too much covers.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Thoughts

I'm going back to my PCM tomorrow to give him the results of the ultrasound and to ask for a referral to a GYN. I don't know what to expect. On one hand, I wouldn't be surprised if the Dr just dismisses me but on the other ??? I'm asking for the referral no matter what.

I don't know if I'm ready for this.

From all the reading and searching on-line it looks like it's best to keep the cervix and ovaries. I might still have mini-periods but I don't want to go into surgical menopause if there is nothing wrong with the ovaries. I think that since I have both the retroverted uterus and a golf ball (I'm guessing) size fibroid sitting on the intestine/rectum that it may be best to remove it.

I just know that I'm tired of feeling bad all the time.

I've hit that afternoon slump. I could just lay down and sleep.

Hubby said he is going to the Dr with me tomorrow. I know he's worried if he's going to take the time to go to the Dr. Not that these kinds of things ever come at a good time but this is definitely not a good time. Hubby will be leaving in about 2 months for another year downrange. Mom said she'll come take care of me.